


Things Rose and The Doctor Do During Quarantine

by Kelkat9



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Bad Puns, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Hair removal, Humor, Pete's World (Doctor Who), Pubic Hair, Sex, Shaving, Smut, Virus, Waxing, quarantining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:21:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24945271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelkat9/pseuds/Kelkat9
Summary: The Covid Virus hits Pete's World six months after Bad Wolf Bay.  Rose knows the Doctor can help. But others may not be so enthusiastic.  They quarantine at an old Torchwood base in Scotland.  Saving the world is not always easy and sometimes they need a distraction and break.
Relationships: Metacrisis Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Comments: 38
Kudos: 66





	1. Sex

**Author's Note:**

> Uhhhh this just popped out of nowhere because I was having a hard time on my book. And I saw some people on tumblr needed uplifting. My brain is a very weird place and thus we have crack and smut. If you want steamy serious smut, this is not the fic for you LOL. I see these two as hot for each other but a couple of dorks who sometimes get silly in the smutzing.
> 
> I giggled a lot writing this. I hope this lightens your day :)
> 
> No beta here. Just silly fun.
> 
> I'll post more later as the muse sees fit.

The virus hits six months after Rose and the Doctor settled in Pete’s World. It’s irritating because no one will listen to him. One tiny mistake calling the US President a Slitheen while hurling a jar of gherkins at him and apparently one was labeled unstable. Thankfully, the Doctor had Rose on his side. 

Rose took charge. Something she was used to during what everyone now called her “Dimension Cannon” phase. Rose rolled her eyes at that. Defender of the Earth was more accurate. Nonetheless, with the Doctor around, taking charge was practical. Especially with the Slitheen gherkin incident. When the pandemic was upon them, Rose knew the Doctor could solve it. If they’d trust him. Which neither their country’s President or UNIT did.

Thus, Rose needed a plan. Too many had died already and she wasn’t ready to watch this world collapse over something the Doctor could stop. There was no way she was spending quarantine locked up in a tiny flat with a Time Lord Meta crisis who fluctuated with bouncing around with enough energy to fuel all of London, anxiety attacks, or his emo tendencies to sit around listening to Snow Patrol. The world needed saving. Whether or not the powers that be liked it, Rose and the Doctor would save it.

The solution was an old Torchwood base in Scotland located in a 17th century castle in Braemar. Drafty but secure, it had a full lab in the dungeon. And was far away enough away from London, so they could work without interruptions. Well, it had another plus. It was far from her mum who’d been whinging at the Doctor nonstop about his presidential faux pas, and how he needed to do right by her daughter.

The base equipment was subpar, according to the Doctor. It needed to be improved and thus he spent the first few weeks settling in and making everything more Doctor friendly. Rose helped but mainly she took down time by learning to bake bread, chocolate biscuits and marathoning shows she’d missed while saving the multii verse. 

The Doctor, being the thoughtful alien boyfriend, gave her interstellar Netflix. She’d missed watching The Six Moons of Patoosh. Slightly different than her universe but about the same story where Venusia and Lorena were stranded in village with characters who reminded her of growing up on the Powell Estate. Not a bad way to spend quarantine while the Doctor cursed, soniced, and stress ate her baked goods.

But not everything was him in his lab and her baking and netflixing. Brilliant lab work and studying the virus whilst he zoomed with other scientists around the world, still left the Doctor and Rose with more time on their hands. And time on their hands in their very large, empty castle meant sometimes, they let their freaky sides out. 

After traveling through time and space adventuring, fixing time lines, landing in prison a few times, and often in tight quarters, sometimes with a lot less clothes than they started with, built sexual tension. The full Time Lord Doctor may have repressed his desires using alien biology. But Rose’s Doctor and his Meta Crisis biology leaned toward human and was less repressed. Much to Rose’s satisfaction.

The line had already been crossed after a particularly long day at UNIT listening to new protocols about alien relations, cybermen incursions and how best sniff out megalomaniacs who wanted to take over the world with dodgy science. 

A bored Doctor is never a good thing. Especially after the Slitheen Gherkin incident. No one was keen to sit by him during the conference. Except Rose. He was a bored Doctor with a tablet. And after hacking God only knows what, decided to play a game called how to get Rose Tyler hot.

Not that it took much when he was dressed in his new very tight-fitting navy pinstripe suit, loose tie and collar. She could glimpse that bit of neck where she’d marked him in a marathon make out session in the lift. Then came sexting. No one sexted like a man who loved words.

_How I hunger to devour you_

_With sweet luscious lips so soft_

_Arousal burns though me like regeneration_

_Breathing you in, time binds us like silk ties_

_Silk pales to me sliding down your body and parting your knees_

_My tongue yearns to lave slick honeyed Rose_

_Laving and licking, until my face is coated in the essence of your arousal_

At which point Roses essence definitely slicked between her legs causing her to need a break. Funny how he had a temporal implosion hit at the exact same time. Which they resolved in her office. 

Her desk pad bore the mark of shame. Or not shame, more like Rose Tyler finally getting laid after years of wearing out a few personal stress relief devices. And then they went home to toss out the gadgets and realized what it meant when the flood gates were open for alien sexing. Yeah, they had lots of sex during quarantine.

The castle offered so many opportunities for bored adventurers like them. First off, the care takers were social distancing so weren’t around much. After hours in the lab, the Doctor bounded up the stairs and tossed his coat on the stairs as he ambled into the massive two-story library. Netflix on pause, it was decided a christening was necessary.

They were inspired by the film Rose had been watching. 

“Ohhh The Mummy,” he breathed and smirked as he picked up a dodgy looking book, they’d pulled off the shelf a few days earlier, just in case. And fuck her side-ways if the Doctor wasn’t the perfect book smart Evie about to read the Book of the Dead while Rose played the dashing Rick O’Connell ready to fight off Imhotep. 

“That looks like the Book of the Dead, love,” Rose walked over with a sway of her hips, thick socks and leggings hardly hero material, but she’d make it work “And looks like you’ve already been naughty given we appear to be in one of the plagues. How ever shall we save the world?”

The Doctor, adjusted his glasses and held up the large black book with gold embellishment. “Ahh easy to mistake. This my dear, is the Sexual Life in Pharaonic Egypt. The Turin Erotic Papyrus Debate.” He walked over to her and tossed his already unbuttoned oxford on the sofa. “The only thing it raises is well…me. Page thirty-four. Pity we don’t have a Chariot.” 

“Bet we can make do with that half round Victorian chair in the corner.” Rose pulled off her oversized navy Henley, one of his she’d borrowed. He licked his lips staring at her bare breasts. Braless quarantine was working out for her even if her nipples hardened at the chilly castle air. They wouldn’t be cold for long with the way he was looking at her.

“Things might get out of control if you read that book, or get you know, aroused over pictures of horny ancient people,” Rose enunciated plucking the book from his grasp and paging through several images depicting couples enjoying carnal delights. She turned the book at an angle and eyed him.”

“Quite the creative artist. Vivid depictions, extraordinarily limber in the Tanite dynasty. Think you can handle it my swashbuckling heroine, defender of brainy if not jeopardy friendly bibliophiles.” The Doctor peeled off his undershirt, dropping it to the lovely hardwood floor.

“It’s up to me to keep you safe and keep that mouth of yours busy. Lest you unleash any curses on this world. I think I can swash your buckle for the good of the planet.” 

Rose shoved down her leggings and knickers but paused at her thick socks. Cold feet didn’t sound sexy. So she hopped on one foot pulling leggings over the other sock covered foot.

“Socks are important for swashing,” she grunted as the Doctor, trousers and pants shoved down steadied her. She looked up at his toasty sock covered feet. Blue socks with red roses on them.

“I can’t be stopped from reading the illicit book without warm feet.” He wiggled sock enclosed toes at her. Rose snorted before kicking aside leggings and shoving him back against a bookshelf lined wall for a proper snog. One knee nudging between this leg did indeed confirm something was rising and thankfully it wasn’t a vindictive mummy.

Yearning for some heat and friction, Rose tilted her hips to pin him against the wall of books. She distracted him with a good parry and trust of tongues ending with a groan as she rolled his pouty lower lip between her teeth. Luckily, her swashing was making a point as his hands took hold of her arse. 

He was such an tits and arse alien. Who had a thing about her raking her nails across his scalp. And yelping when she tickled his side on her way down to move things toward her personal vortex.

After much groping, and running her teeth across his neck. Rose sucked on a particularly erogenous zone she found one night after he fell into an emo state over missing his original long swishy coat. He growled in the back of his throat, one hand hitching her thigh up over his hip and flipped then around until books crashed down around them.

They broke apart as Hamlet thudded on top of his head.

“Blimey.” He rubbed his head and Rose examined him for any bumps. None were found. 

“You’ll live, it was just a paperback. Now I believe we were swashing your buckle.”

“Maybe not against a wall of possibly heavy books. Good old Will Shakespeare might be jealous.” He tugged her away eyeing a few upper shelves muttering he’d be having a look later.

“No offense Will, but a woman has needs here,” Rose called out as a dirty grin emerged on her lovely Doctor who she had plans for that didn’t include long dead playwrights.

In homage to the notorious Turin Papyrus, Rose ended up on her knees on the half circle chair making do for a chariot.

After Rose tightened her grip on the back of the chair, the Doctor slid his hands from her hips down right where she wanted him. God, she loved it when he muttered about temporal maintenance, sliding his fingers into her wet core, pressing and scrapping his nails until her toes curled. 

Rose closed her eyes and visualized horses pounding ahead, his hot breath panting on her shoulder. One swiped of his thumb as he murmured, _temporal couplings aligned_ and she shuddered, clamping her thighs around two fingers he curled deep inside her. Spasms and liquid warmth washed over her.

“Almost to the world saving,” his voice was so tight and strained as his erection nudging her arse. 

“Got to hurry before there’s paradox. Must fuck like an ancient Egyptian,” she called out and then giggled. 

“The Bangles now?” He groaned, his fingers digging into her hips. “Now I have that pop song stuck in my head.”

“Sorry, love overwhelmed by brilliant shagging. Please continue.” She laughed more, shaking against a part of him that clearly wasn’t bothered by her bad role play. 

“Right,” His voice was rough and his cock hard enough Rose knew he wouldn’t last long. His fingers tracing the base of her spine and slid to her hips digging his blunt nails into her flesh until Rose lost herself to the sensation. Her knees lifted from the cushion and just as she lost her grip, he slid home inside of her. Rose gasped and hung on for dear life as her knees found leverage. Fuck but he was on a mission.

After a few dep breaths he nipped at her shoulder. He began moving, one hand sliding back to her drenched clit and oh how Rose loved him. 

He moved with an easy, smooth rhythm and chariot sex was taking on new meaning. Plunging and filling her, his finger flicked her bundle of nerves until one vigorous move, he screamed and Rose lost all coherence. She was vaguely aware of a cracking noise and her voice making garbled sounds before she tumbled to the ground in splintered antique chair with the Doctor’s gangly limbs tangled with hers.

After she caught her breath, she looked up at his heavy lidded, post coital stupor smile. Something gouged her side and she shoved him over. A broken chair leg, at least she thought.

“Um,” she grasped for words, her pulse rate easing. “I think we broke the chariot.”

He giggled in that high-pitched way that inspired here to do the same. They both guffawed and rolled off wincing at sharp splinters of wood. 

“I think we owe someone a chair.” Rose eyed the tufts of stuffing and ripped brocade.

The Doctor’s glasses were askew and he squinted. “I don’t think it was authentic.” He pulled a tag out. “Nope! Rubbish recreation.”

“Next time we stick to something solid.” She shivered as her sweat slicked skin chilled in the old castle air. 

“Hot toddy?” he asked eyeing her goosebumps. “Funny phrase that. From India, the toddy was a hot alcoholic beverage from the sap of palm trees, water, sugar and spices. Don’t have quite that, but I can whip together cocoa, whiskey and cinnamon.” He jumped up, pulling Rose with him.

Rose hummed and curled up in his arms, nuzzling his chest. “I like me a good we shagged and save the world cocktail.” 

But that was not the last of sexing away quarantine boredom. There were many rooms to be christened. The kitchen island debacle where the Doctor learned granite was unbearably cold on one’s arse, even when playing sexy chef. Stair shagging was bad for one’s back. They fell off the formal living room sofa and rolled across toward the fireplace. Not bad, toasty warm on the thick wool rug. Until a pop off burning wood singed his hip. Rose enjoyed playing nurse even if he was whinging a bit about tender meta crisis flesh. 

The list went on and so did the shagging. But it wasn’t all shagging. They did need to eat and save the world. It was a long quarantine and many more things entertained them in between.


	2. Manscaping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is inspired by the ad on the DT Podcast. I have been to the Manscaping website where some of this info came from. I have never personally observed a dude manscaping his lower regions so this is all creative musing. Please do not read this if you are squicked by discussions of shaving/hair removal/waxing or a dude shaving his intimate parts.
> 
> Clearly this is primarily crackfic. I did ponder not posting it because it does teeter on tasteless LOL
> 
> Thank you yellowsuedeshoes for helping me with the Scottish Village information

Rose had just finished face timing her mum and Tony after multiple zoomed department meetings with various groups at UNIT. Her last one was with Jake Simmons and the Abnormal Activities First Response Team who were in a word, bored and missed their monthly pub crawl. Rose commiserated. 

After a month in the castle, she was starting to understand why people moved away from the austere, stone, leaking, damp and chilly buildings. She missed central heat. And take out. And running for coffee or just anything to do with people.

Not that she was alone. There was the Doctor and the caretakers. Although, the caretakers seemed more inclined to do their jobs whenever she and the Doctor were not around. Rose blamed that on them walking in on a certain Time Lord Metacrisis doing a little naked yoga in the normally vacant chapel. Which apparently resonated nicely with Pranayama chanting and chimes he listened to while finding his inner universe, or whatever. Rose lost her train of thought when she thought back to that naked head stand he did.

The caretakers were not as impressed as Rose. They had taken their tool boxes and promptly run err escaped to parts unknown leaving Rose with a leaky chapel and without a functioning gas stove until she promised to give them social distancing space to make repairs. AKA keep your kinky boyfriend away from them.

Rose smirked. Yeah, he certainly knew kinks. Alien kinky was a whole new level. Sometimes fun, interesting, sexy or just plain weird. The humming yoga sex hadn’t really done it for her like it had him. But as long as he was happy, she’d give it a go. Wasn’t like he didn’t make sure her needs were met. Pressure point stimulation hadn’t sounded like all that until it gave her the screaming biggie. He had such talented fingers.

Speaking of kinky Doctor, she hadn’t heard from him for a while. Rose knew he had a zoom meeting to discuss the progress of the vaccine trials. And there’d been a delivery earlier. They both kept Amazon busy and left treats for their local driver, Angus. Good bloke. Kept them stocked and up to speed on his take on the village gossip often discussed in the local paper he also delivered. 

God, she was getting so domestic. But who wouldn’t with the whole Edina Bruce leaving her parish minister husband for the organist, Fenella Riley? Only for the whole town to learn he had an illegitimate child with the Postmaster’s wife. The scandal had filled Face Book and lines were drawn.

Rose tapped the app scanning the community page before moving to Fenella’s time line. They’d met on Animal Crossing and Rose offered support. The two had become fast friends. Rose smiled at pictures of Finella and Edina showing off their joint knitting projects. They looked so much happier, even in quarantine. Rose complimented their afghans and thanked them for the long scarf they knitted for the Doctor. A warmth flushed through her at their happily ever after. Rose understood how precious it was finding love against the odds.

And thus, had devolved the life of Rose Tyler, Defender of the Earth. Now, following town gossip and known as a supporter of illicit love and promoter of couples finding their romantic forever.

On that note, she logged off her tablet and went in search of her own forever. The kitchen was empty except for an open jar of black berry jam and assorted crumbs. Rose refused to clean up after him and continued on. No luck in the pantries or store rooms. The library was empty and in its usual state of books stacked and left open, covering every surface. Ball room, she smirked, empty and dark. But it had been fun the other day. 

Barely used dining room, nothing but the dusty table and chill seeping through the thick paned windows. The parlors were all shut tight. His dungeon lab was dark. Maybe he went for a walk? She’d heard the door open but thought it was the Doctor picking up a package. A quick peek out revealed a blustery, chilly morning with a light mist. She doubted he’d brave the cold. Last rainy walk ended up with nonstop whinging about rubbish human biology and chattering teeth.

That left upstairs. Odd. Normally he puttered downstairs on various projects. A quick jog up the stone staircase and Rose made for the Master Suite. Napping wasn’t his favorite but she’d caught him having a kip in the library once. The sound of splashing and cursing drew her to the renovated master bath.

The sight that greeted her was burned into her brain. Not necessarily in a bad way. More a confused did one laugh or ask questions first way. The Doctor, as naked as the day he generated, stood on some sort of vinyl looking newspaper mat covering the slate flooring, with one foot propped up on the marble vanity next to the sink. He had a razor in one hand. Well by the familiar trilling sound, perhaps not the normal electric razor, but more the sonic variety.

And not the Doctor’s typical razor either. It was long and tapered and aimed at…well a place she had not really thought a bloke would aim a razor. But the Doctor wasn’t a human bloke. And she had to admit watching him carefully move his cock aside and now gently aim the razor at a place Rose knew intimately, which was a bit nicer and less untidy then any of her previous partners. An admittedly very, very pleasing area.

And then she couldn’t not laugh as a loud fuck sounded and he bent over at a bit too aggressive trim of formerly unwieldy hair. Soon she was leaning against the door frame, her face hot with amusement, hiding behind her hands because she just couldn’t watch.

“Rose! Err what are you doing there?” His voice squeaked ever so slightly.

Rose peeked between her fingers, her chest still shaking and tears wetting her eyes as she tried not to laugh.

“Could ask you the same.”

“Welll--” he drew out in that pitched voice that indicated he was about to ramble with his foot still propped up and waving the razor in the air as if it was his sonic. “I heard this ad on one of those humany science podcasts. The funny one where that SETI group thinks the signal from Joransazak is some alien race calling out to say hello, when it’s really a few of their young broadcasting a belching contest. Funny that.”

“And that made you want to shave your bits?” Rose asked, staring at a slightly more hairless area.”

The Doctor looked down at said bits and scowled.

“It was the advert about grooming. You humans do spend an inordinate amount of time on cosmetic products to alter your scent, appearance or promote an image.”

Rose dropped her hands and gave him a good Tyler stare.

“Are you saying Time Lords don’t spend time fixing their hair and making sure their suit is buttoned just so?” Rose was so not letting him get away with whatever this was by insulting humans.

“Time Lords exude style.” He sniffed and remained in his propped position, nude and proud. “Before the meta crisis I had complete internal control over hair growth without the use of dodgy twenty-first century hair solutions. Style takes a bit more work now.” He glared into the mirror, setting down the razor to tug at his hair into a few stylish spikes.

“Okay and that razor is for?” Rose knew what he was using it for but needed to hear him say it as this was a bit much even for him. He stopped mussing his hair and shifted hips to angle his body to look at his trim work.

“Aesthetics,” he answered, picking up the razor and aiming it toward his inner thigh.”

Rose suddenly had a vision of sharp objects near a part of him she was quite fond of and how very bad this could go. Especially during a pandemic, in quarantine with emergency services questionable at best. 

“Are you sure you need to do that?” Yes, her breath might have hitched as a sprinkling of hair fell to the mat. “I love you the way you are. Hair and all. I mean--” What did she mean? How did one discuss the hairy issue of trimming genital areas? 

“Yes, but—” He drew out. “I’ve noticed you spending time trimming and so on, your various lovely parts. Seems only fair. Which I’ve got to say all this trimming, does create a plumbing issue afterward. Might be solved if you had the mat. See?” His toes wiggled as Rose’s gaze drew downward at the pile hair that came from…yeah. “Easy disposal, no issues to plumbing. I could help you! We could have a couples grooming session just like that nature show on social grooming in primates.” 

That was about all Rose could take.

“The quarantine has finally gotten to you.”

“Rose, there’s nothing wrong with bonding over self-care. And it’s not like humans don’t have a history with hair sculpting, grooming and manscaping.”

“Manscaping,” Rose slowly inched toward him to get a better look.

“Yes!” he said with a manic look in his eye as he again bent down, glasses sliding down his nose as he made another pass, more hair floating to the mat. “Most Earth historians agree manscaping began in Ancient Egypt. Other societies followed like how the Greeks thought young men were sexier without body hair. Older men manscaped to look young and pretty. Romans, though, they liked hairy blokes.” He lowered one leg and propped up the other.

Rose was close enough to see that he’d quite neatly trimmed himself and with no damage. He picked up her face powder brush and…”

“Wait, that’s my good makeup brush! It’s not for dusting your balls!”

“It is rather nice. Very soft for delicate skin.” He winked at her before setting it aside.

“I…I can’t even deal with this.” Rose sputtered, vowing to immediately order a new set of make-up brushes and wondering what he’d done with some of the others. She’d been fine when he experimented with her eyeliner and eyeshadow but she drew the line at… Oh. Rose swallowed hard as she watched him spritz and massage a rather nice smelling product on his nether regions.

“See, this Rose Tyler, is self-care. No more chafing, unsightly fuzziness, snags, sweaty stench. Smooth, manicured perfection!” He stepped off the mat, folded it up and disposed of it before doing a hip swaying shimmy and presenting himself to her.

“Primped, primed and ready to shower my Rose with manscaped, luscious me.”

Rose eyed the box on the counter and nearly broke out into giggles at the marketing line. Your balls will thank you. 

“Body wash, ball toner and ball deodorant,” he explained. “All very nice and refreshing and no irritation. I checked the ingredients and nothing dodgy in there although we should probably talk to them about animal testing. Maybe I should blog about this…” he scratched his smoothly shaven jaw in thought.

“And you got all this from an advert on a geeky podcast?” She stepped closer, getting a whiff of how really nice he smelled. Subtle, naturally him but clean and it made her want to test certain nicely groomed areas.

“Yep! Scientific curiosity and then well,” He tugged at his ear. “It’s all a bit nice. Makes me feel more me like I was before the meta crisis.” 

Rose stopped short and swallowed past a lump in her throat. They’d both come so far, getting used to being Earthbound for now. Learning how they fit. Working out the differences and through some old relationship bumps. But he’d gone through far worse than Rose, landing on this Earth, a new species with all the memories and baggage from a millennia of being a full Time Lord. 

Every now and again, he’d let some of the guard slip, share his insecurities. As much as Rose dumped her emotional baggage on him, she wanted him to feel free to be his soft place to fall. Maybe being in lock down, it was easier. She immediately walked into his arms, slid her hands up his chest, the pads of her fingers trailing around his shoulders up the back of his neck until he dipped his head down for the bump of lips lingering into a deep snog.

“Doctor,” she murmured, nipping at his lip as they parted. “I always want you to feel like you no matter what it takes.”

“So, I can keep the powder brush?”

Rose snorted and patted his shoulder.

“Tell you what, you can have the whole set. I probably needed new ones anyway.” She eyed the counter which now had more of his products than hers. “Maybe I’ll take the bathroom down the way so you have more room to do your stuff.” She wrinkled her nose thinking about how much hair they’d both shed, shaved and dropped and he did comment about her and the plumbing. 

“What? No. We’ve got plenty of space.”

“Yeah but you need your personal time and I interrupted you when I shouldn’t have.”

“It’s just hair Rose. I don’t mind when you rip hair off your legs and crotch. I offered to help.”

Rose took a moment to try and wrap her brain around this conversation.

“Yeah,” she drew out. “I just think that I need to do that in private like you were doing this in private until I barged in which I’m really sorry about. I shouldn’t have laughed. You deserve a spa day more than me. You’re the one working all hours on the vaccine.”

“It’s not a spa day, Rose. It’s an experiment in personal grooming and you are getting really weird about this.” Rose backed up as he walked toward her as he eyed his sonic razor and looked at her intimate bits areas. “Maybe I should show you… No more hot wax, just a bit of sonicing, a new formula of skin conditioner and I’ll get you smooth and soft...”

Rose had visions of herself naked with a manic metacrisis obsessed with a sonic shaver going all mad artistic hair remover on her. She had no issues with sexy times but not so much being examined and critiqued on her pubic region. She didn’t even like the word pubic. Now she’d thought twice. And he was staring at her crotch with a furrowed assessing expression. 

“I think I heard my mobile. Enjoy your manscaping.” Rose ran from the en suite, the bedroom and down stairs to her comfy corner reading nook near the fireplace in the great room. After a minute of contemplation on what he’d said, it was time to google. Not an uncommon thing for her when the Doctor found some new hobby. 

Manscaping she tapped in and realized it was a huge trend and especially during the lockdown when people were getting more in touch with self-care. She had no idea.

“It’s just hair Rose.” popped up in her texts. Followed by, “Couples shower together and share grooming products.”

Rose felt a headache coming on. She loved him. And they’d showered together a couple of times but she generally enjoyed her own spa time and waxing wasn’t romantic and the one time he’d seen, her doing it, he’d winced and demanded an explanation. Which she’d given him as part of her welcome to the human race and all our quirky primitive rituals. He’d assured her he was fine with body hair and that pouring hot wax on skin was considered torture in at least fifty alien civilizations.

Rose nodded and picked her spa time strategically around his schedule. She liked silky, smooth skin and it was sort of her version of meditation. He’d not brought it up again. But it certainly appeared she underestimated his trauma from seeing her wax. It’s not like she didn’t get it. He was trying to understand in his own Doctory way. Now she had a manscaped meta crisis with ideas of hairscaping her.

“There you are!” 

Rose jumped at his stealthier than normal approach. He knelt by her chair and eyed her research. He wasn’t entirely clothed either, in pin striped trousers and an unbuttoned oxford giving her a good view of nicely groomed chest hair.

“I think you misunderstood.” He said slowly, sonicing her laptop to the flying banana screensaver. “I didn’t mind you popping in while I groomed. In fact, I was sort of hoping you’d find your way up so I could show I understood your waxing thing. That we’re in this together. Just like the government slogan says for lock down.”

Rose nodded even though she still wasn’t getting it. Other than she had an inkling this was less about his grooming and more about hers and his plans for making improvements.

“Doctor, I’m not upset about you experimenting or exploring human stuff. I’m happy you’re finding you time.”

“Of course, you are. But--” He tapped the sonic on a pillow. “I’ve been thinking... About you putting yourself through all those chemical and primitive methods to achieve some standard that I find baffling. It’s just you and I here. You don’t have to do all this. Except, it made a bit more sense when I heard that advert and read up on it. Some people do it for aesthetics and unrealistic beauty standards. But like I said upstairs, deep down, it’s more like feeling good about yourself.”

Warmth flushed through her at how he knelt next to her, resting one hand on her knee with the gentlest squeeze. Her heart and every inch of her swelled with love for him.

“It is,” she agreed. “And not feeling manky and unappealing.”

“You, Rose Tyler, have never been manky.”

“Even on that swamp planet in the Critoric system?”

“Welll,” he drew out until she giggled and shoved his shoulder.

“You didn’t smell too good either, Time Lord biology and all.” And then she winced realizing what she said and how he stared at his sonic.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean--”

“No,” he quickly interrupted. “It’s all right. Can’t ignore the past. It brought us together. Still feel the Time Lord even if I’m a bit different. Still me.”

“Still you,” she agreed and covered his hand with hers tracing his knuckles with her thumb, even as his other hand aimed the sonic at her laptop shutting it off. 

“So, gonna let me ladyscape you?” He leaned in close bumping his forehead against hers as she shook with giggles. “Call it our latest quarantine project. A little groom in the nude with a side of seductive of oil massage. Ohhh that has a ring to it.”

There was no arguing Rose found the idea of him massaging her enticing to the point her knickers might be a touch wet as her imagination ran off. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen her naked or like he said, waxing. And he was giving her those hopeful puppy dog eyes. The kind that screamed please let me play with my new sonic razor on your intimate parts.

She lost this battle before it started. There were worst things than letting kinky alien boyfriend indulge his sonic and grooming fetish. 

“Looks like today is turning into a spa day.” Rose acknowledged.

“Brilliant! We can try today’s latest delivery. The Coochy Deluxe. Makes your pussy purr.” He growled his voice and waggled his eyebrows until Rose lost it falling off her chair laughing. “Come on Rose Tyler, Allons-y!” He grabbed her hand and tugged her toward the stairs.

Quarantine was never dull.


End file.
